Philly, my one-year-old beagle, keeps stealing socks, trying to eat horse poop on morning hikes, and can be as stubborn as a summer heat dome, but I’m glad I decided to get a dog six months ago, and it’s all because of a well of wisdom that only grows with age.
The hound I really wanted was a newborn puppy, but when I went to sign the paperwork, the puppy peed on the floor, ran through puddles, and splashed all over my lap.
A younger me would have erred on the side of caution and brought him home, risking my marriage and carpet troubles, but as a mature adult who had just peed his pants, I called off the adoption process and then found a Philly who was older than my first dog and somewhat house-trained.
I tell you this because when it comes to covering older people, there’s a lot of bad news to report — and I’ve done a lot of it. But getting older isn’t all bad. Throughout life, we learn from our stupid decisions and deepest regrets, and we become wiser.
Common sense isn’t the only benefit of getting older. I asked my wife the other day if she had any thoughts on the subject, and two things immediately came to mind: Allison said that as you get older, you care less about what other people think of you.
I totally agree.
The second, says Alison, is getting over the fear of missing out, which some people apparently call FOMO.
This is true too, but enough about the acronyms. And the reason I say this about FOMO is because speaking your mind is another BOGO (Benefits of Being Older).
By the way, I must confess that I totally stole the idea for this column, relying on Oscar Wilde’s “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” The Longevity Project publishes a very entertaining weekly newsletter called “Three Not-So-Bad Facts About Aging and Longevity,” which collects bits and pieces about medical advances, personal achievements, and so on.
Here are some examples:
The newsletter linked to a study from the Harvard School of Public Health that looked at happiness and life satisfaction, meaning and purpose in life, and close social relationships. The findings? The newsletter said: “As you get older, you’re often significantly better off.”
Another article reported, “Living to 100 is becoming increasingly common. By the middle of this century, the United Nations projects that 3.7 million centenarians will be alive worldwide. And the idea of a healthy, active centenarian is becoming increasingly commonplace.”
Like much of this news, there’s a downside to the rise in membership of the 20-something club: Your Social Security benefits may default and you may see three times as many intrusive drug ads on your TV. But the Longevity Project, which was founded five years ago in collaboration with the Stanford Longevity Center, is committed to highlighting the research and sparking conversations that explore all the challenges and opportunities associated with aging.
Speaking to me about the newsletter, which was launched 18 months ago, Longevity Project founder Ken Stern told me its purpose is to educate, entertain and, maybe, inspire.
“The most interesting stories are the ones where the characters do something interesting in chapter two or three,” Stern says, especially when they find stories where they do something meaningful rather than just sitting around watching their toenails turn yellow.
Stern gives as an example the story of a retiree named Randy Yamada, a 70-year-old, often shirtless, man who is the unofficial mayor of Royal Kunia, Hawaii, a town northwest of Honolulu, and who spends his days looking after his neighbors, watering their yards and fixing broken things.
“Maybe it’s not entirely fair — these people can live in Kunia and have their own neighborhood concierge — but overall it’s a good deal,” the newsletter noted. “It’s good for the neighborhood, it’s good for the neighborhood spirit and it’s good for the mayor,” he told Island News. “Taking care of the neighborhood will allow me to age well.”
One of the reasons this newsletter is so appealing to me is that my own inbox is packed with examples of the “not so bad” things about aging. For example, isolation has been called a public health epidemic among older adults, but I’m meeting soon with Rabbi Laura Geller of Los Angeles, who emailed me about a solution she’s working on: She’s established what’s known as a “virtual village,” a growing national movement where older adults connect with one another, care for one another, and find purpose in community work.
Geller brought together members of Temple Isaiah and Temple Emanuel to start ChaivillageLA, which uses the same model to connect seniors in the San Fernando Valley and New York City. There are dozens of such collaborations in California; you can find one in your area at VillageMovementCalifornia.org.
The good news is that getting older makes birthday parties more fun. Maybe your younger family members worry that it might be your last. But even if you don’t have enough lung capacity to blow out all the candles, it’s not so bad.
Carlos E. Cortés, professor emeritus of history at the University of California, Riverside, informed me that he recently turned 90, continues to teach part time, and goes on three-mile hikes six days a week. He also sent me a column he wrote for the American Diversity Report about his 90th birthday party.
“As I got older, I started to dislike celebrating birthdays,” Cortez wrote, saying her daughter resisted her attempts to throw a party, even though she insisted on one, which resulted in a year of planning an epic celebration that included a book and film about Cortez’s life.
“Family has always been important to me, but never has it been more important than it has been for the last 366 glorious days of my 89th year (including leap year), highlighted by some of the most amazing conversations I’ve had with family and friends in years,” Cortez wrote in the column. “So mark the date April 6, 2034, when I turn 100.”
Finally, one more story that’s not so bad. This one comes from actor Dirk Blocker (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, etc.), whose father, Dan, played Hoss on Bonanza. Blocker had emailed me about my column on Molly Markoff’s eclectic life adventures (mechanic, appliance repairman, photographer, sculptor, author) and death at 110, so I asked him if he had any positive thoughts about old age.
I sent three blockers.
First, it makes you calmer: “Like shedding your skin, the sense of certainty and control translates into less stress and more patience, empathy, and understanding.”
Secondly, it’s never too late: “I’m able to spend time on things that I once thought were luxuries. I’ve started playing guitar and my fear of singing in front of people seems to have disappeared. In other words, I don’t care what other people think.”
And number three, you deserve it, so why not? “A nap. It’s a simple but extremely satisfying post-lunch recovery indulgence, and I gladly succumb to it.”
I like all three of these.
Now, homework for the rest of you.
Besides senior discounts, what other good information or two do you have about aging in place?
Make it three and you can take a nap.
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