While learning disabilities are thought of as affecting children in school, challenges with reading, writing, math, language and other skills impact every aspect of our lives, not just academic achievement. We use them all the time: reading road signs, counting coins, playing games and keeping up with conversations with friends.
Struggling with skills that seem easy to others, both in and outside of the classroom, can take an emotional toll from an early age. Research has shown that children with learning disabilities are at higher risk of developing depression, and this risk increases as children enter their teenage years.
“Kids spend the majority of their waking hours at school,” says Laura Phillips, PhD, a neuropsychologist and senior director of the Center for Learning and Development at the Child Mind Institute. “When they’re working on something that’s difficult for them for eight hours a day, it has a huge impact on their self-concept — their idea of who they are as a person and their ability to feel successful.”
School and self-esteem
Depression can manifest itself in many different ways.
Appearing sad or irritable, trouble sleeping, loss of interest in things they once enjoyed, feeling tired all the time, or gaining or losing a lot of weight
But at its roots lies feelings of hopelessness and low self-esteem, and research shows that for children with learning disabilities, the school environment can reinforce and nurture these feelings.
Children who have not been diagnosed with a learning disability are at particular risk for depression because they cannot understand why they struggle with things that others do not. Setbacks and failures create a sense that there must be something wrong with them. A diagnosis provides reassurance and much needed support, but success still comes with struggles. When it comes to your child’s emotions, a LD diagnosis is not a magic bullet.
“It won’t necessarily get better right away,” points out Helen Omanski, LCSW, senior social worker at the Child Mind Institute, “but it will get better, but newly diagnosed children need time to adjust to support systems and gain confidence in skills they previously lacked.”
If you think your child may be depressed, talk to a medical professional, but know there are ways parents and teachers can help too.
Academic challenges become more challenging
School expectations change as children age, but there’s one change that can be especially difficult for children with reading, writing, or language disabilities: “From kindergarten through second grade, you’re learning how to read,” explains Dr. Phillips. “In third grade, the emphasis shifts to reading to learn.”
In other words, reading is integrated into every lesson. Kids who struggle in language arts but are confident in their math skills are suddenly faced with math word problems. “And they lose confidence in whatever might have been holding their sense of self and their self-esteem together,” Phillips explains.
This change is the first of many. Children will continue to struggle with challenges in unexpected ways. This can leave them feeling discouraged.
“The impact of learning disabilities spreads even further as a child progresses through school,” Dr Phillips says.
It’s important for parents to understand and acknowledge the depth of frustration their children may be feeling, Omansky says. Our natural desire is to brush off negative feelings with encouragement: “You’re so smart!” But this can leave children feeling isolated and unheard. If a child says they’re stupid because they don’t know how to solve a word problem, “it’s okay to validate that feeling by saying something like, ‘I know how frustrating this is for you,'” Omansky says.
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Around age 8 or 9, children become less self-centered and start to see themselves in comparison and context to their peers. Whereas before school was simply a frustrating place, children may now wonder why some things come so easily to others. They may feel like they are working twice as hard as the kids around them and, understandably, think this is unfair.
Kids at this age may be feeling self-conscious and aware of their shortcomings, whether it’s the child who is reluctant to raise their hand in class or the child who plays alone during recess. If a child can’t solve a math problem or gets called out for not completing their homework, it’s easy for feelings of “I’m stupid” to turn to “no one likes me,” says Omansky.
Children with learning disabilities may also struggle with social skills, such as following a conversation or finding an appropriate response. They sometimes have trouble understanding social cues and, if given enough negative feedback, may avoid socializing altogether.
Some kids try to distract attention from their problems by behaving in a disruptive way, which may boost their self-esteem if they are seen as funny or rebellious, but avoiding the problem doesn’t make them feel better about it, it just makes them more motivated to hide it.
Hide signs
While rates of learning disabilities are similar between boys and girls, boys are more likely to be disruptive in class – a clear warning sign – and therefore more likely to be diagnosed, while girls are more likely to be withdrawn, making them harder to identify.
“Girls are more likely to sit quietly at the back of the classroom and crouch on the ground,” Dr Phillips said.
This means girls may not receive a diagnosis of a learning disability, or their diagnosis may be delayed. When a learning disability is overlooked, a child’s anxiety or depression may be the first sign that they need help. “They may become very anxious or perform poorly academically,” says Dr. Phillips. “So anxiety or depression may be the first thing that comes to clinical attention.”
It’s important for adults to empathize with this experience, too. “Well-intentioned parents and teachers don’t want to put a child in the spotlight unnecessarily, but they may not be asking the right questions that would allow for further intervention or investigation,” says Omansky. When a child shows signs of anxiety, lack of motivation, or depression, she adds, the adults around them should probe if they are distressed. “Kids don’t always have the skills to defend themselves and say, ‘I don’t know.'”
A vicious circle: How depression affects learning
Depression actually affects cognitive functioning, making learning challenges more severe.
According to research, depression is characterized by the following:
Slower information processing Slower memory consolidation, or how your brain converts what you’ve learned into long-term memory Loss of attention and concentration Disrupted sleep, which can also have negative effects on the brain
It’s a vicious cycle: academic challenges lead to depression, which leads to more challenges. But there are ways to break it.
Classroom Safety
How a child interacts with their school environment also impacts how they learn and how they perceive themselves. This is especially important for black and other children of color, especially if they attend predominantly white schools. “When there’s a difference in skin color between the child and the teacher, the child will walk into the classroom with a different level of anxiety arousal that they must overcome in order to fully concentrate,” says Dr. Phillips.
If a school environment is already unsettling, and learning is also difficult, children are more likely to shut down. The mere thought of going to school may be scary. Teachers need to recognize that children do not experience school in a vacuum. They need to understand the racial, cultural, and demographic factors that influence children so they can feel safe learning and ask for help when they need it.
Combining academic and emotional support
Schools are beginning to include emotional support for children with learning disabilities. Academic support alone is not enough when children are overwhelmed by the tasks and refuse to learn because learning makes them feel bad about themselves.
Schools are increasingly using social-emotional learning (SEL) techniques to help kids recognize the emotions that are driving their behavior (whether they’re acting out, trying to disappear, or simply avoiding the challenges that are most difficult for them).
Children can be taught strategies to manage the big emotions surrounding learning. Take the example of a child with a math learning disability who becomes anxious when asked to solve a math problem. They tend to use negative self-talk: “I’m bad at math. I’m going to fail this math test. I’m so stupid I’ll never get into college.”
Negative self-talk impedes problem-solving. “It taxes your working memory and keeps you from solving problems as effectively,” explains Phillips. “This leads to poor performance and makes you believe you’re a bad math student.”
But kids can interrupt this cycle with a simple trick: Say the steps as you solve the math problem. “When you do the steps verbally, you’re not engaging in negative self-talk and you’re not taxing your working memory system,” she adds. “This can be very effective.”
These creative problem-solving skills are a child with a learning disability’s secret weapon, but it’s important to seek professional treatment if your child shows signs of depression. Understanding that emotional and learning challenges are intertwined can help parents give their children the support they need.