How makeup helped me cope with my visible disability

POPSUGAR Photography | Chandler PlantePOPSUGAR Photography | Chandler Plante

In November 2022, I lost my sight due to inflammation of unknown origin. Since then, my eyeball has been through six hospitals, resisted two corticosteroid treatments, endured 10 days of radiation, and spent over a year on immunotherapy. My eyeball protrudes about 23mm, but some days it’s worse than others. Making matters worse is that my eyelids are constantly drooping and the surrounding skin is red and swollen from lack of blood flow and proper drainage. Losing sight in one eye is no easy feat, but it certainly makes for a good canvas.

Before my health issues, I’d never left the house without makeup. At university, I’d slather on Ardell Wispy and pan the Anastasia Beverly Hills contour palette for my 8am lectures (like everyone else in 2018). It was an outlet, a source of creativity. But as my disability became increasingly visible, my relationship with beauty was pushed aside. I watched tutorials and found myself envious of flawless skin and fully functioning eyeballs. I tried to imagine what it would feel like for me to wear makeup, but most days I struggled to even look at myself in the mirror.

POPSUGAR Photo | Chandler Plant

In August of 2023, I resolved to do a few things. One, I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life hiding from my eyeballs. And two, I needed to get good at celebrating it. With a prayer and a ton of eyelash glue, I meticulously attached chunks of silver rhinestones to my face, creating two sparkling teardrops under my blind eyes. I shared a video documenting the process, and it’s managed to reach more than half a million people and hundreds of kind commenters.

The more I experimented with makeup, the more I appreciated my new self.

Inspired by the supportive response online, I continued to play on my unique features, like the spaciousness of my eyelids. I tried everything from butterfly tattoos to googly eyes (in case you didn’t know, I glued 18 googly eyes onto my blind eye). I eventually started changing up my makeup look to match the different eye patches, drawing hearts on my cheeks for a Valentine’s Day-themed patch and applying blue glitter for a porcelain look.

Public perception of my “fun eyeballs” ranges from overly accepting to casually cruel. I try not to listen to unsolicited medical advice or unfunny jokes on social media. When I shoot TikTok videos or Instagram Reels for PS, I wear glittery eyeshadow to hide the redness under my eyes, but I often feel a bit nervous about appearing on a big platform without an eye patch. If makeup is fun, no one will be mean, I tell myself. But no! “Probably a bacterial infection from those damn eyelashes,” one person commented on a video about my condition, possibly unaware that I only wear eyelashes on my “good” eye. “Spoon them out. I really can’t stand to look at them,” another wrote on TikTok.

But the more I try out makeup, the more I discover a new side to myself. No one cares what other people think of me. I look really cool.

Nine months into my fun makeup journey, makeup has proven to be an incredibly fun and powerful aspect of my healing. I no longer hate my eyeballs; in fact, our relationship has never been better. Just days before I have surgery to remove my eyeballs and a significant amount of mass behind them, I am about to endure further changes. I have no idea what my face will look like, let alone makeup. But whatever the future holds, I take comfort in knowing I have the tools to figure it out.

POPSUGAR Photo | Chandler Plant

Chandler Plant is an Assistant Editor at POPSUGAR Health & Fitness. Previously, she worked as an Editorial Assistant at People magazine and was a contributor to Ladygunn, Millie, and Bustle Digital Group. In her spare time, she creates and shares content online about chronic illness, beauty, and disability.

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